Week 6: One Minute Thirteen Seconds
Rob Ryan has the best hair in football, and he got to within one minute and thirteen seconds of doing what his brother failed to do in that sloppy, rainy, Thursday game a few weeks ago.
It will be okay, Rob, just hope you’re not going to Seattle for the NFCCG and you should be fine the rest of the way. One less undefeated team… Oh hey, if the Chiefs go undefeated up until their bye in week 10, we might get a undefeated face off with them and Denver in week 11! And before you say ‘they can’t keep this up with Captain Tiny Hands McCheckdown at the helm' I’d remind you their remaining matches are: vHou vCle @Buf. Yup. And Houston is playing a guy you've never heard of at QB this week (not even Yates!). If they head into the bye 9-0 I will deem the week 10 post “Chiefs Chat” and dedicate most of the post to a team that is not even playing that week. Be warned!
In other news, Brandon Jacobs is back! To ultimately no effect other than vulturing fantasy points away from Eli. Did you feel it on Thursday, towards the end? It was Eli time! Didn't quite work out, but if that last pass was just a few inches lower and the universe would have resembled something just and balanced instead of crcontinuing hilarity.
And check out this awesome chart! I couldn't find the author but someone somewhere did something awesome.
Top Players
GIANT PROBLEM
QB
|
Matthew Stafford, Det QB
|
24.5
|
Tenth quarterback out of the draft has been solid so far this year! Only the fourth best this week though behind a benched Cam Newton and waiver legends Nick Foles and Andy Dalton. I look forward to Nick Foles being unironically started in the bye-week gauntlet.
TEAM BLANCHARD
RB
|
Knowshon Moreno, Den RB
|
28.4
|
Get comfortable. The one week Peyton puts up less than 20 points means Knowshon delivers three touchdowns to Eric, our overall point leader. And this was considered an underwhelming win against JAX. Knowshon is now the fourth ranked RB!
GIANT PROBLEM
WR
|
Vincent Jackson, TB WR
|
23.4
|
Hey remember how we’re supposed to shy away from newly starting quarterbacks? This and the Brian Hoyer Experience beg to differ! I expect DeAndre Hopkins to get 30 points this week with Houston Quarterback #3 (I refuse to look up his name).
TEAM BLANCHARD
TE
|
30
|
Who cares about a WR shortage when you have Vernon Davis! Also if you haven’t noticed all four of the top players so far have been included in the Giant Problem vs Team Blanchard matchup!
CHERRY LOZENGES
D/ST
|
Chiefs D/ST D/ST
|
25
|
Chiefs DST is now averaging 19 points a game. And they’re gearing up for Pix-Six Factory The Texans. They had 10 sacks against the Raiders, too. I can’t wait for Chiefs Chat.
THIS ONE'S FOR COACH (PURSE)
K
|
Stephen Gostkowski, NE K
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14
|
Yeah yeah this guy did some stuff that didn't consist of a game winning drive in one minute and thirteen seconds, whatever. Number 2 overall kicker, a mere five points behind the Denver’s extra point machine.
Weekly Prizes
Most Points in a Losing Effort
Winner: Giant Problem, 118.7 points!
Top QB + WR versus top RB+TE and losing by half a point! Hard to ask for a better week to hand out this prize!
Next Week: QB with most rushing yards. And you have to had started him, too!
Internet GIF of the Week
This guy had 8 catches for 5 touchdowns this year! Goal Line Vulture includes more positions than just running back I suppose!
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