Friday, February 21, 2014

D&D Adventure Log S2E3


Legend of the Cursed Legend

Season Two Episode Three:  Potato Farm and Morn Unharmed

Thematic Recap:  available after episode four

Minutes:
  • You investigated the Bugbear Cave
    • You unlocked three bugbear statues, with fire, a monkey, and the warm embrace of a dwarf
    • You looted a treasure chest containing:
      • The Granite Owl
      • Floaty Sandles
      • Polar Owlbear Quiver
      • Boomerang Dagger
    • The Large Ruby inside your Seeker's Cube shattered
    • You rescued prisoners!
      • Peaches the bard
      • Morn the moleman
      • An unconscious human
    • You discovered an entrance to the Bear Isle Sewers
  • Peaches and Morn performed "Coming Down the Stairs"
  • Morn explained he was from the Great Volcano.
    • He has been working on a geo-thermal plant for two years
    • The Molemen contract is up in two weeks
    • They were hired by The Black Circle
    • They provide energy to the two cities on the island
    • A third conduit runs to the northeast but is unpowered
  • Your Foundation Visitor Rings go dark
  • The unconscious human awakens as a zombie!
  • You arrived at Foundation to find an delegation from Aluminiumia outside the city
  • You spoke with Bartleby at the helpdesk
    • He explains the Prince King Lord of Aluminiumia is meeting with the Foundation High Council
    • The Disruption has been labeled a terrorist group
  • Nyelle shot the zombie in the fucking face!
  • You spoke to Nathandelion, ambassador from Aluminiumia
    • He asked about the King Lord's ship that was attacked recently nearby
    • He explained the King Lord was offering a treaty to Foundation, in exchange for cooperation in the investigation
  • You sent Peaches and F-Bomb into the city to investigate
    • Many of the cities regulations have also been tightened
    • The only outstanding quest was to rid the Royal Swampland of a Lich or Necromancer
    • Other adventurers have already taken the quest
    • All associates of The Disruption has had their visas expunged
  • You ventured into the Royal Swamplands
    • You found the potato farm's farmhouse
    • You came across the Raven's Claw Rogue
      • She was hesitant but explained that they tried to enter a farmhouse from the back entrance only to trigger various magic traps and that her compatriots were subdued
    • You entered the farmhouse and met "Mr. Potatobell"
    • He and his servants fed some of you sketchy marsh potatoes
    • Thorfin attacked Mr. Potatobell
      • Mr. Potatobell blinked to the head of the table
      • his eyes glowed purple
      • he began to levitate
      • Shit was about to go down!

Sunday, February 9, 2014

D&D Adventure Log S2E2

Legend Of The Cursed Legend


Season Two Episode Two "Making Bear Rugs out of Bear Bugs"

Thematic Recap:

Our heros awoke to their second nightmare: an itemized bill of their hotel rooms’ damage.  Easily affording the costs with their potato sacks full of gold, the party paid Gumbledon the innkeeper for room and board for the next few weeks.  They were also questioned by city guards, who had them fill out paperwork regarding the assassins they slew in the night.  Heading out of the Inn they came across Peaches the bard working on a song for rival adventuring party The Raven’s Claw (caw!).  Bestowing perhaps too much confidence in the resident musician, the party paid upfront for a song about their yet-unnamed group.  Eager to get to work, Peaches left the Inn to go outside and draw inspiration from the whispering zephyr, or the tranquil beaches, or probably to go get high somewhere.  You know bards.


Continuing their investigation of the town, our heroes entered the Adventurer’s Guild where they sought to formalize their union and color scheme and perhaps extend their visas by completing a routine task of adventuremenship.  There they met Marshawn, the quartermaster, who had them begin the expected but still necessary paperwork.  It was then they witnessed an argument at the door between the Guard Captain and the guildmaster Merissa.  The Guard Captain was adamant that the city of Foundation must not draw too much attention from the kingdom of Aluminiumia, for while the city lay on the other side of a great, toxic marsh, King Lord Webber may soon justify an invasion that reclaims this region if sufficiently provoked.


The argument was soon derailed by the emergence of Trokul, the halfling, dragging the body of a Seeker Assassin he had slain, surely in self-defense, surely.  The Guard Captain stormed off, and the party discovered that Trokul was in a suspiciously similar situation, escaping from the same Seeker’s vessel, being attacked by the same dastardly assassins, and sporting the same fashionable potato sack-- except, as they would learn, his was a yellow edition.


Deciding to join forces, our heroes recognized their nautical liberators inside the guild, from The Disruption, an adventuring party sporting blue and grey.  Ave, presumably their leader, explained that they have been following The Seekers after they deciphered they were on a quest to collect four colored keys.  They were not sure what they keys were ultimately for, but still they insisted that the party should register a quest-addendum to be a rider on The Disruptions’ official quest to thwart The Seekers, and that progress on this quest will likely result in extending everyone’s visitor status.


After much debate the party formalized its documentation and would be known as The Gibbon’s Fang.  Gibbon’s do have fangs, right?  They also decided on charcoal grey and forest green as their official party colors.  With all this talk of color-coded keys and potato sacks, one can never be too careful when deciding on the trim of a cape.


Outside they saw a statue dedicated to Teresa, founder of Foundation.  A plaque detailed her donating a vast fortune she earned from Capital to create the city.


With the mystery of the glowing red cube still full-on mysterious, the party visited the Foundation Community College in hopes of finding someone who recognized such a trinket.  After getting the runaround from the Archwizard Orion and Achtinkerer Fidget, the party met the Chief Engineer, Richard.  Being caught mid-experiment, Richard enlisted the help of Thorfin to hold onto two metal rods while a very janky set of machines hummed and zapped lighting out of all its pointy ends.  Hand-wavy science hijinks ensued, but the upshot was that Richard determined the portal lead to Sigil, City of Doors, due to some planar alignment mumbo jumbo.  He seemed not happy about this arrangement, though it’s unclear if he’s familiar with any other emotion.


Finally deciding to inspect the Seeker’s Cube, Richard taught the party how to open it up, revealing a large ruby in its inner workings.  Richard speculated this meant the cube sought after a specific object that was Red, and that the Seekers often work on this painfully straightforward level when it comes to their magic trinkets.


Before following the cube’s lead out of town, the party first decided it was a good idea to visit The Temple of Pelor to receive a combat blessing.  This was suggested to them by some guy at the Adventurer’s Guild, remember?  This definitely happened.  It made sense and felt natural. The blessing of Ki’ai would boost their damage when they cried out to whimsical Gods mid-battle.


As they left the city, they stopped at the help-desk to inquire about extending their visas, which now had only a single day left.  The help desk lady (as she’s now known) had received forms from the Adventurer’s Guild about their quest addendum and instructed the party to return after they have completed their first task and their visa extension would be waiting for them.


A travelling merchant, Herold, was attempting to enter the city but was denied.  He claims to have been delivering food and goods to the city for over a year, and that this unexpected denial of service was going to cost him.  He questioned how the city got its food resources, being a coastal fortress with no dock.  He set off to return to Capital and sell his products at a loss.

Under guidance of the strange glowing cube, our adventurers trekked for hours in the Ficus Forest until they came upon a Bugbear Cave.  Once entered, the party was greeted by a ficus ballista guarding the entrance hall.  Setting off a trap door, Thorfin was about to fall down to a dungeonous basement level when Aramis, the one responsible for thrusting the dwarf hapazardly down the hall in the first place, was able to miraculously blink to Thorfin and by the grace of the Eladrin God Corellon was able to blink them both to solid ground.  A large fight ensued and five bugbears were slain.  Our heroes instantly and incrementally felt more powerful than ever.  If five usinous bugmen of the Ficus Forest couldn’t stop them, then surely neither could magic army of needlessly evil teleporting assassins backed by the full faith and credit of the region’s monarch.  Surely…

Minutes:
  • You met Peaches, the bard. You paid him to write a song about your yet-unnamed adventuring party.
  • You paid Gumbledon for damages to his Inn, he's agreed to keep rooms available for you for the next few weeks.
  • You visited the Adventurer's Guild.
    • You met Marshawn, the guild Quartermaster, who helped you register The Gibbon's Fang adventuring party.
    • Your party colors are Charcoal and Forest Green (right?)
    • You saw Merissa, the leader of the guild, have it out with the Guard Captain.
      • The guards were concerned about the recent downed ship outside the city. The ship was flying the Silver Flag of Aluminiumia, the province which Foundation resides in but defiantly does not swear fealty to.
      • The Disruption was suspected for its attack and is a registered adventuring party. They wear blue and grey.
    • You met Trokul, a halfling thief who was also captured aboard the same Seeker's vessel. He had been wearing a yellow potato sack and had been attacked by a Seeker Assassin. He decides to join you!
    • You met Ave of The Disruption who originally freed you from the Seeker's captivity.
      • She has been hunting the Seekers, who are on a quest to find four keys, red blue green and yellow.
      • She had reason to believe the Red Key was somewhere on the boat, but no one found it.
      • She suggests your glowing red metal cube be inspected at the Foundation Community College.
      • You applied to join The Disruption's quest as an auxiliary party in hopes of getting a visa extension.
  • You found a statue depicting Foundation's founder, Teresa. The plaque chronicled her making a fortune in Capital and selflessly financing the creation of Foundation that would be free socialist democracy. The city is two years old.
  • You visited The Foundation Community College
    • You met Orion, the Archwizard of the Arcane School. He could not decipher the cube's mechanical workings.
    • You met Fidget, the Archtinkerer of the Engineering School. She assigned her chief engineer to help you decipher the cube.
    • You met Richard, chief engineer.
      • With Thorfin's help, Richard opened a portal that he determined to go to Sigil, City of Doors. He claimed something about planar alignment has connected this region to Sigil out in the Astral Sea, or some nonsense.
      • Richard showed you how to open the cube, which housed a ruby in its inner workings. He speculated this means the cube seeks out a specific item that is red.
  • You went back to the Temple of Pelor and acquired the combat blessing "Ki'ai" which called upon various Gods of battle to increase damage.
  • Upon leaving the city you found Harold, the travelling merchant attempting to deliver food and supplies to the city.
    • He was denied entrance, but he claims he's been delivering food regularly for over a year now.
    • He came from Capital and begrudgingly returns there to resell his goods.
    • He questioned how the city gets it food sources? You know of two food vendors The Hog and Ham and Cornucopium. Both vendors emerge regularly from the Foundation Quarter.
    • The helpdesk lady begun filling out paperwork to extend your visas. She told you to come back after you completed your quest to find The Red Key and that she'd be able to extend your green ring's enchantment at that time.
  • The cube led you a few hours away to a Bugbear Cave.
    • You fought your way through the entrance hall, slaying five bugbears and opening a trap to the floor below.

D&D Adventure Log S2E1

Legend Of The Cursed Legend

Season Two Episode One "Potato Sacks And Midnight Attacks"

Thematic Recap:

Our heroes were captured by The Seekers aboard a ship that after much analysis was deemed to be of medium size.  When the vessel was boarded by another faction, fighting spread like wildfire as regular fire spread rather wildly itself.  A pair of roguish individuals in blue and dark grey freed our heroes and suggested as payback they find the Red Key and take it to the Adventurer’s Guild in the city of Foundation.

After looting the world’s most convenient treasure room, the party made their way to the ship’s deck just in time to see a comical assortment of beasts emerge from a holding cell, lead by a great white owl bear with blue feathers in its mane.  Amongst them was Bad Monkey and and Jack which reunited with Nyelle and Boots, respectively.

The party was thrown into the ocean and the fierce tide cast them through a series of rocky rocks where they ended up bruised and twisted and at about half of their original net worth.

On shore they met a couple of bugbears, Yerg and Berg, who after careful consideration determined that attacking a party of five half-dead unarmed adventurers carrying heaps of gold would be a sound fiscal decision.  Employing the age-old combat tactics of gently tossing your weapons to nearby squares and needlessly provoking opportunity attacks, the brother’s -Erg found themselves vanquished by de facto party leader Bad Monkey, who needs no weapons to bring both the pain and the noise.

Looting the body of a now-dead Captain Coldopen, the party found a small metal cube with the Seeker’s insignia that pulsed bright red at regular frequencies.  But nevermind that, they also found a pretty cool dagger and staff.

Making their way to the nearby city of Foundation, they came across a help-desk where they were able to apply for visitorship into the city and were given glowing green rings that would allow them access for two days.  They were also given a hastily drawn map of the city and surrounding regions that seemed to become more elaborate and accurate as time went on.

Once inside the city our heroes first visited the Temple of Pelor, where they were healed and cured of their curse of no-fun-abilities that the Seekers had inflicted upon them during captivity.  There they met the temple’s Arch Cleric Yolor, who all things considered seemed like a pretty cool guy.  With the curse lifted, Boots and Sia were able to summon their companions Mandibles and F-Bomb.

From the temple the party hit up the Smelt ‘n Save smithy and item emporium, where they spent their heaps of money and became outfitted in level-appropriate gear.  With night approaching, the party took to the Inn, where they were served a their first real meal in weeks and listened to the infectious lute-rock of the local bard.  An adventuring party known as The Raven’s Claw (caw!) burst into the Inn ready to celebrate their completion of a quest to acquire The Jade Owl for the Arcane school of the Foundation Community College.  After much boasting and drinking, the rival party’s Rogue noticed Aramis’ mage hand attempting to steal the Jade Owl, which prompted the rival party to retire to chambers for the night.  Our heros retired themselves, only to be awakened at midnight by two Seeker Assassins, who nearly subdued Aramis before being chased into the hall where the rest of the party surrounded and made short work of them.

Minutes:
  • You escaped captivity on board a Seeker's Vessel flying a Silver Flag.
    • Boots, Sia, and Nyelle were wearing green potato sacks as prisoner's garb.
    • Aramis was wearing a blue potato sack.
    • Thorfin was wearing a red potato sack.
    • A big-ass Owlbear was being held above deck and escaped, freeing your pet companions. It was snow-white (polar bear) with blue feathers in its mane.
  • Captain Coldopen is dead, you looted a small metal cube with the Seeker's Insignia on its faces that pulses red at regular frequencies.
  • You entered Foundation, Free City of the Collective
    • You learned that the city was recently founded in defiance of the province's monarch King Lord Weber.
    • Your map showed a Volcano in the center of the island, the city of Capital on the northwest coast, and The Royal Wetlands farmland/marshes to the east connecting to the mainland.
    • A socialist "utopia", citizens (purple rings) of Foundation have a currency-less job rotation system and seem well fed and outfitted. They are the only ones allowed to access the Citizen Quarter and the central tower.
    • "Landed Residents" (blue rings) appear to be in poverty around the Landed Quarter. They also do not use currency
    • "Visitor Buildings" are in green and do take common gold.
  • You visited The Temple of Pelor, the Sun God.
    • A protester outside the temple was claiming that no Gods are worshiped in the Citizen Quarter.
    • Inside you met Yolor, the temple Cleric who cured you of an ability-suppressing curse and healed your wounds for a modest charge/donation.
  • You visited The Smelt 'n Save which had a bunch of things you could buy at Players Handbook 1 prices.
  • You visited The Visitor's Inn.
    • You met a bouncer who checked rings as people entered the tavern
    • You met the innkeeper Gumbledon, who gave you a discount on rooms and dinner.
    • You met The Raven's Claw adventuring party, consisting of a human paladin, a dwarf fighter, an elf rogue and an old human wizard. They wore purple capes.
    • They had completed their quest to acquire The Jade Owl.
    • You were attacked in the night by two Seeker Assassins. They had magic swords and Seeker's Insignia pendants with them.

Monday, January 13, 2014

Bostic Sticks Season Four Champion!

Bostic Sticks Season Four Champion!

On the same day Andy saw his Bears miss out on the playoffs once again he also cemented a dominant 10-3 season beating Mike in the finals!  He ended up with 1402.2 points, more than 88 more points than second place (Eric).  And he did it with only one player on the Broncos!

So I don’t have a whole lot to say, I’m feeling pretty deflated by the losses to the Chiefs, Packers, and Chargers (in that order).  Here’s the rest of the weekly prizes:

Weekly Prizes

Week 14: Most points by starters + bench combined
Winner: Romocops to the Rescue, 204.1 pts!  (McCown + Dalton = 70 bench points!)

Week 15: Most points by players you drafted
Winner: Giant Problem, 114.6 pts!

Week 16: Most points by players you didn’t draft
Winner: Romocops to the Rescue, 87.8 pts!



I’ll leave Matt to figure out the year-end prizes.  I’m out!


Internet GIF of the Week


Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Fantasy Football End of Regular Season

End of Regular Season

nfl.com


We made it!  End of the regular season.  On to the playoffs for four, and back to the shame of the consolation ladder for the rest of us.

TEAM
W
L
T
PCT
GB
10
3
0
.769
--
9
4
0
.692
1
9
4
0
.692
1
8
5
0
.615
2



Fun fact, Taylor actually finished with 3rd in points overall, but him missing so that Carly gets in I think is something we can all take satisfaction in!

The next matches are two-week endeavors and they go through week 17, so watch out for your star players getting benched.  I’ll probably make a big post at the end with possibly more effort than this one.




Weekly Prizes

Week 12: Most punts by opposing team (DST)
Winner: Bostic Sticks!  Texans forced the Raiders to punt 11 times!  Eleven!  Kluwe’s replacement is getting worn into the ground!

Week 13: Most points by a single player who didn’t start for you previously
Winner:  I have no idea.  Post candidates to the message board thread to claim your prize if you think you got someone that has a shot.

Next weeks:

Wk 14 – Most Points Starters + Bench Combined
Wk 15 – Most Points By Players You Drafted
Wk 16 – Most Points By Players You Didn't Draft



Internet GIF of the Week