Week 7: Neck-Beard Slays The Forehead
Von Miller is Back! Surely this is going to fix Denver’s defense and make them truly unstoppa-
Oh. So much for what seemed like the best chance at 19-0 in the last few years
Hey but also this week, Gronk is back! And he got over 100 yards! This is going to change everything now that Tom Brady has a legit receiver to thr-
Ah. Hmm. Okay, sure.
Oh, oh, Josh Freeman! First start for the Vikings! Surely any Alex Smithonian level of competence will be all AP needs to run over the winless Gia-
Sigh. The best Sunday Night game in a while was promptly followed by probably the worst Monday Night game in history. Anyone with fantasy implications made to watch that game probably would have traded a loss just to unsee all sixty minutes of that. On the upside was that totally badass Jared Allen sack and yet another big, slow, wrecking ball of a RB coming off his livingroom couch to put up feature back numbers for the Giants this week.
Top Players
GIANT PROBLEM
QB
|
Matthew Stafford, Det QB
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26.3
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Back to back fantasy QB leader! Not listed is Andrew Luck and RG3 sitting on the bench, and Andy Dalton hanging out on the wire. Stafford is now the #2 overall fantasy QB!
ROMOCOP TO THE RESCUE
RB
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Matt Forte, Chi RB
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28.9
|
Josh McCown plus 41 points must mean a huge day for Matt Forte. Coming in behind him was a wacky 3 TD effort by Roy Helu! Shanahanagans is back after being notably absent last year.
SOPO MURDERERS
WR
|
27.5
|
Megatron’s best week so far! Must have been that Diddy commercial.
TEAM WESTERHAUS
TE
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13.2
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Amaaaaaziiing graaaaace. How sweeeeeeet the
Seriously though I’d probably stop playing football if I were Jermike. It was a good run, but we don’t want another Austin Collie situation on all of our hands. Bad week for TEs I guess, lead by a breakout game by Jordan Reed, the next Jordan Cameron.
BOSTIC STICKS
D/ST
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Panthers D/ST D/ST
|
17
|
Probably the most surprising defense this year. Chiefs, Seahawks, Panthers. Those are the top 3 DSTs. Recalibrate your draftometers.
ROMOCOP TO THE RESCUE
K
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Adam Vinatieri, Ind K
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16
|
Taylor had to drop Steve Smith to pick up a kicker. Hard to argue with the choice. (Still lost.)
Weekly Prizes
Most rushing yards by a QB.
Winner: Bostic Sticks, Russell Wilson 29 yards.
Wait, WHAT? Where’s RG3? Oh, racked up 84 yards on my bench. Would have won this prize and turned my L into a W. Where’s Kaep? Oh, racked up 68 yards on Mike’s bench. Would have won this prize and turned his L into a W. News alert: trying to win your weekly matchup and trying to win the weekly prize are not opposites!
Next Week: Best QB completion percentage (min 20 attempts). That should be a fun one!
Internet GIF of the Week