Week 11: Regression to the Mean
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Well, that was sure fun while it lasted! Back to the cold, hard, reality where the Broncos are unstoppable, the Jets are terrible and Tom Brady can pout without much media reaction.
What’s the next flash in the pan I can get behind with only a few weeks left? A wildcard-viable Arizona Cardinals? A division-winning Detroit Lions? Cam Newton’s team (who are they again)?
Anyway, I forgot to post this a few weeks ago. We saw it when we were out at happy hour at our local fancy pants steak restaurant.
Hey, Anquan, buddy, maybe if you had been better at beating man coverage this year I might have found a $400 check with my name on it so I could eat a rare-plus rib-eye in your presence. Instead I just dropped you to the wire for Jerrett Boykin. With a third string QB. If you still want to hang out I’ll be at the bar eating half price apps.
Top Players
SOPO MURDERERS
QB
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Cam Newton, Car QB
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26.6
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Wow! So can we expect all the current sophomore slump QBs to bounce back like this next year? I, for one, am excited to root for the hell out of the panthers in the playoffs. Surely they can take care of whatever East or North team will host their wildcard game before they get monster killed in Seattle or New Orleans
JUST HAVIN' FUN OUT THERE
RB
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27
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Wait, one of my players not named Jimmy Graham? Surely, this can’t be right.
SOPO MURDERERS
WR
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29.9
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I always feel good seeing megatron and AP up here. That’s where all that pre-draft confidence comes from before it is torn away in week one by Alshon Jeffery or Julius Thomas or something. At least, this week, the world makes sense.
GIANT PROBLEM
TE
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Charles Clay, Mia TE
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15
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Hey this guy! I feel like his waiver-hype whirlwind came in a few weeks ago to seemingly no effect. But he’s still kicking! If you can properly gauge the Miami offense, that is.
THIS ONE'S FOR COACH (PURSE)
D/ST
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Giants D/ST D/ST
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16
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Back to back monster weeks for the G-Men! What if they came back to win the division 8-8? What if we got another NE v NYG superbowl? What if Papa Johns Pizza turned out to be pyramid scheme with Peyton’s forehead as the keystone?
CHERRY LOZENGES
K
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Steven Hauschka, Sea K
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13
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Number 1 kicker! It seems whoever wins the week is suddenly 1 or at worst 2 or 3. Well with Percey Harvin back maybe all those FGs will turn into XPs. Or maybe those punts will turn into FGs. Or maybe the 12th-man with disrupt the kicking trajectory with a sonic wave like the x-men and all games in seattle will have scores divisible by 6.
Weekly Prizes
Longest Rush (any position) (starter)
Winner: SoPo Murderer’s, Rashad Jennings, 80 yards!
That’s right, Rashad Jennings followed by Ryan Matthews and Chris Ivory. So obvious in retrospect, right?
Next Week: Most punts by opposing team (DST). To be clear this is your DST’s opposing team, not your fantasy opponents DST or anything weird like that.
Internet GIF of the Week
This could have been JPP's pick-six, but where's the fun in that?
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